Day 5: Weigh-in, then CHEAT MEAL.

Day 4 doesn’t get its own post because it was nondescript.

Nothing of note for Day 4, really. Day 5 is the real meat of this post. But first, regarding Day 4: I just barely made it through without snapping. In fact, I worked on other parts of this blog specifically to stop myself from cheating on the diet. I don’t know if the pen is mightier than the sword, but it’s certainly a strong enough distractor to keep me from going hog wild on food!

Meanwhile, I’m sure I’ve never typed so hard or fast as when I’m blogging to while away the constant lure of sinfully tasty food. There are two great Peruvian places, tons of Chinese restos, and a place that can’t seem to stop winning awards for its bbq meat – all within two blocks of me. Oh, why oh WHY do I live in a neighbourhood with so much awesome fare?

Oh, right. I moved here precisely BECAUSE of the awesome fare.

Argh. Pardon me while I facepalm.

Day 5. The weigh-in. And a DELIGHTFUL surprise.

So, after four days of mind-numbing constant craving, I decided to take a look at the scale. I was a bit terrified that the needle wouldn’t have budged, thereby severely straining my willpower to continue. Still, my curiosity was stronger than this dread. And so, I stepped on the scale.

“Holy hell.”

Those were the words that escaped my lips. I’d lost weight, all right. You want to know how much?


On Friday, March 11, I was 204 pounds.

I stood there unblinking for a good long while. Seriously? Six pounds? In under a week?

Was I wasting away like a character out of a Stephen King novel…?

I went over to look at myself in the mirror, worried that a chunk of me had fallen off in the middle of the night (Shut up! I was nervous). What I saw instead was that the faint outlines of abs were really starting to show through, even in the dim early morning light.


You know what this meant, right?


I have never anticipated pizza and poutine more than this.

Originally, I was going to hold out till Saturday, but, uh, no, not anymore. On this diet plan, I’m allowed three cheat meals per week. With that much weight gone by Day 5, I’d earned my cheat meal, and then some.

And so, I went to one of my favourite diners for supper, New System BBQ (which I’ve reviewed in my first, much more amateurish blog). Despite the place being better known for their chicken, I really come here for their pizza. They make pizzas just the way I like: Thick crust, pepperoni cut in rectangular strips rather than as rounds, and tons of toppings bound by a thick layer of cheese. They don’t skimp, lemme tell ya!

The reason that I chose this place for the big cheat night though, was because they offered a combo – pizza and poutine in one meal. For those of you who somehow don’t know what poutine may be, it’s french fries smothered in cheese curds and gravy. It’s probably the quintessential Canadian food invention, right after maple syrup. I mean, for goodness’ sake, Barak Obama made sure that Justin Trudeau was served poutine at a State Dinner – how much more iconically Canadian can a dish get?

And so, I ordered it shortly after sitting down: An 8″ all dressed pizza with extra smoked meat and olives, coupled with a poutine. Each second of waiting for it to arrive felt like an eternity. And when it did arrive, it took an unbelievable amount of willpower to whip out my phone and take a picture before I attacked it!

So here’s the combo – GAZE UPON ITS SPLENDOR:

Pizza-poutine: A food combo made in heaven. *drooooool

After the photo was taken, I very, very carefully forked a small portion of soft, thick, deeply sauce-soaked fries and made sure to twirl some melted cheese onto it. It almost looked like I was putting pasta onto my fork. When a big enough morsel was in hand, I gently put it into my mouth, with a string of cheese dangling from the clump of fries and sauce.

I positively SHUDDERED.

Felt chills up and down my spine – it felt like a wonderful spark of electricity was winding instantly from my mouth to the joy centers in my brain, which then sent the spasms of food-induced euphoria throughout my person.


With one bite of poutine in my system, I just sat still, closed my eyes, and savoured the moment. It was like floating on a perfect of moment of blissful eternity…

Okay, that’s enough purple prose for today.

But, I do not exaggerate my reaction. It. Was. NUTS. And when I took my first bite of pizza, it was exactly the same. Five days of depriving my mouth and taste buds of all the fun things I loved had really sensitized me to the wonders of diner food flavour.

I ate slowly, cherishing every last bite. And when the solid parts of food were gone, I found myself literally scraping the plate and bowl for sauce of any type. Was that lacking in dignity? Yes. Did I care? HELL NO.

Pizza-poutine: TOO DAMN GOOD.


I certainly saved the dishwasher some effort!

A weird, interesting thing happened after this tasty food.

Now, something else unexpected happened after I ate this meal. It’s not that I was full. Far from it – I was still hungry, since I still kept the quantity reasonable despite it being a cheat meal. What was weird was that my belly was telling me it wasn’t too happy. Which, of course, was a massive contrast to what my mouth and mood felt – like I’d won the lottery or something. I could not stop smiling, and I’m sure my eyes were glazed over the way they do when I’m smitten with someone. My stomach on the other hand.. well, I felt a tightness in the pit of my belly, as though it were flexing itself internally, but much, much too hard.

The two sensations put together made for a strange contrast. From the feel of things, I guess that my stomach had already gotten so used to eating nothing but steamed, roasted, or boiled things that it didn’t want to go back to the unhealthy but deeply delicious stuff (my stomach is traitorous!). That… really didn’t take long.

Huh. What do you know? Good habits don’t have to take long to form!


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