Day 1: Dreaming of cheat meals already.

The game plan for the first day.

I decided to start this diet on a day off from the gym. The hope was that it would make the day feel less horrendously long from the sensation of hunger always nipping at my sanity.

Y’see, I really don’t sleep that much. Typically, after 4 hours at most, my body snaps awake. It’ll go back to sleep begrudgingly, but then after another 90 minutes at most, I’m awake for the day.

For those doing the math, that means that this volume of food has to sustain me for at least 18 and a half hours:

Somehow, this is three meals. What you can’t see, buried by veggies, are two chicken thighs in one container, and a (small) mass of fish in another. Yep. A veritable smorgasbord. 

This volume of food. This.

This is, at best, 60% of what I normally eat on a given workday.

And if I’m honest with myself, me saying that this is 60% is really me lying to myself. So that I can lessen the psychological impact of the drastic drop that’s coming.

I eat a hell of lot more than that per day. I mean, at work, some people compare me to Hobbits because I have second and third breakfasts before lunch.

Well, correction: I had second and third breakfasts before lunch. No longer! But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The night before it began.

I woke up somewhere around 2 AM. I was starving. It didn’t make any sense that I would be – in preparation for the coming diet, I had been really generous in my final pre-diet meal(s) (well, okay, pre-diet days). So this was probably my mind playing tricks on me.

Of course, I fell for my body’s trick anyway. I got up, grabbed some sweet, sweet cereal and milk, and had a nice big bowl. The way I ate, it almost had the pageantry of a condemned man’s last meal. But it was glorious.

And then back to bed I went!

The morning weigh-in.

And so, I got up around 5:30. The first thing I did was get my home scale and weigh myself, so that I’d know where I was starting. For posterity:

On Monday, March 7th, I was 210 pounds.

I got off the scale, and then began to go through my usual motions before realizing that if I ate then, I would have to really portion out the food for the rest of the day. So: No go. I made a coffee, got ready, and read news to pass the time until I had to go to work.

It was a long two hours.

Breakfast at work.

I got in to work, put in two of the three containers in the office fridge, and tossed the third one in the microwave. I just stared at the microwave’s timer, each second feeling like an eternity. And when the food was reheated, I wolfed down the meal. It felt good.

It also felt like an appetizer. Yikes. So, of course, I started thinking about my cheat meal for the week, starting at 9:55 AM on the first day.

This was going to be long.

I decided to keep my day’s worth of pumpkin seeds and banana (note singular) at my desk:

A full day's snacks, apparently.
20 grams of pumpkin seeds (unsalted). And a single, solitary banana. You know I used to eat four of them at a time?

I stretched both out like crazy. I ate the seeds one at a time, careful never to eat more than 5 every half hour. As for the banana, I cut the first half of that sucker into fairly thick slices at first. The second half? They were cut into paper thin slices.

And I managed to ration them all the way to the end of the workday. In between, I ate the two other meals with considerably more reserve than I did for the first one. I stretched it all out clear through till quitting time. Lemme tell ya, that felt herculean. I mean, I know it wasn’t; it’s just how it felt. Now, of course, I had one more dilemma: I had to last till bedtime without cracking.


The last hours of the day.

Were hard.

By the time I got home, I felt ravenous again. All my body wanted was a giant steak. Or two. I damn well nearly cracked too. Fortunately, I didn’t. I kept as busy as I could, to keep the hunger at bay. I managed to do two loads of laundry and mop the living room floor.

So, maybe I can call that a win-win? That living room floor is clean.

Any which way, I made it. It was hard. But this was the easy day.  Still though. One day down. And in some strange, bizarre way, I’m excited to get on to Day 2. Something about having a small success at the beginning really helps get you in the mood.

Huh. What do you know? Momentum is a thing.


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